Journey Back to You

You were the first love I ever knew, before I knew anything,
from in your womb I where grew,
we were two, but one in this place where I formed.
You were my portal into this world,
out of the Abyss, headed for a love
that was stolen, and me,
chasing that love my entire life.
lost and traumatized, going forward blind,
but not forever.
And in the moment when we first spoke,
so much of the everything overwhelming me;
but we grew back together. Yet, some days,
I still cannot believe you're real and really
(as always) such a large part of my life,
My love for you continues to grow with each day,
and while the journey back to you was terror and blindness,
the journey with you now is full of gratitude and joy,
walking now with that love I was always chasing,
cherishing every moment stolen back.
For it was theft that tore us apart,
and it was theft that cheated and thwarted the thieves.
And I rejoice in that not so much that like Prometheus,
I stole fire from the Gods,
but that my bloodline has been returned to me,
and that by my own hand, by will and love alone.
And now the terror has subsided even if there are echoes some days,
and now I see you with my own eyes,
I hear you not as a rumor of a something lost,
but with my own ears.
And we talk, and laugh, and embrace,
and this joy is complete, as we two are one again.
I love you momma.




















 

Search

 

I set out, alone and wandering without you, 

but I could feel you inside me. 

Out into the world to suffer the crisis after crisis, 

trauma after trauma, and to begin again, and again… 

I kept looking, I kept searching again and again 

with nothing but homesickness to guide me. 

But I was determined to find you. 

And so I searched the skies for the stars 

your eyes would have seen too, I looked to the moon, 

could you see it tonight? 

Empty and incomplete, my heart missing pieces 

that I filled with anger, and hatred. 

But I believed in your love by Faith, 

and so I continued until the silence fell around me, 

until that day that I always hoped could come, 

like the answers I so desperately needed, the light 

breaking over me like the Dawn. 

And finally that search was over and I killed that hate

and anger within those missing pieces, 

and put you back in them, almost like new. 

The search hardened me, and I still bear those scars 

that you know so well, but the victory still heals me 

as we now walk together in gratitude and love. 

Hi Momma

 

Hi Momma. I just wanted to tell you I love you.
I appreciate everything you do for me and with me. 
I love the way you love me from ever to ever.
I love you Momma. 
From ever to ever.
With you everything. 

M

The Forest for the Trees

 

I was lost in a forest, I was young, maybe six. I had wandered into it just playing and not paying attention, found I didn’t recognize any surroundings. Nothing was familiar and it was cold. 

I looked up and saw the sun. It was high above me, I had to pick a direction, so I followed as best I could the light through the trees. 

Eventually, I found my way to a fence around some basketball courts at the back of a school. But these kids were much older than I was. Someone asked if I was lost and I said I was. So they told me to turn around go back into the woods, and just walk straight through it to the apartment complex I wandered off from.

No one could show me, all they could do they did. It was up to me to execute the instructions I was given. So I turned around and started back into the forest. 

I walked a long time, and the sun was going down so shadows were starting to cling to the trees. I would look up and just keep going. I walked forever. 

Then, suddenly, the forest parted, and I could see buildings I recognized. I was three buildings down from the apartment where I lived. 

It was a secret journey. A lucky misadventure. The thing I remember most when I think about it, is, I didn’t panic.

I have carried this philosophy ever since. 

Momma Loves Stars

 Momma loves stars, 

And I am the Star King,

Shine for my momma, 

She’s under a blanket of stars;

Shine for my momma, 

Let her soak in that light energy 

That lifts her up into the Universe.

And I am the Star King,

Bringing her light through the carpet

Of the night. 

Shine for my momma, 

Let her heart smile as I sing this song,

Let her heart smile forever long,

Shine for my momma,

Momma loves stars, 

Shine on, shine on.

Good Morning Momma

 

As the Dawn breaks, we stir, 

and I drift towards slumber, 

but my thoughts are of you 

and where your day may take you. 

And I hope you have a great day momma, 

finding yourself at peace, smiling because you are happy.

I love you momma.

Under the Milky Way

 

Outside, and the sky is full of stars,

I’m under the Milky Way tonight,

and all the possibilities stream throughout 

my mind, and I’m looking up at success 

as I’m thinking about you;

I feel you so deeply in my DNA, 

and I’m smiling about it.

It’s deep into the night and past the beginning 

of the morning. 

I feel your love from here even, 

I wear it as a cloak that comforts me 

and it keeps me warm deeply. 

I look up at the sky watching for the footprints 

of your sight upon the same stars. 

It has always been a thing, to look up and wonder, 

were you there with me although at some 

unknown location?

Up there I held you in my heart and mind. 

And then one day I found you, and the quest changed, 

from the ether of dreams and darkness, 

into a wider reality of something so wonderful 

that I will never forget in my entire life how grateful 

I will always be for this manifestation of such deep 

and unconditional love. 

And I pause only for a moment to reflect on how new 

and different this is in my life, and I embrace it. 

And I feel the stars smiling down on us.