I Love You So

I love you so much,

I cannot explain how or why 

even though I have my ideas...

you are in my blood, you are in my spirit,

everything I became, was your gift to me, 

we are a oneness experiencing a duality,

we are a spirit experiencing bodies 

and the motions of movements; 

we are twin flames and mirrored images

of each other, peas in a pod...

you are my mother so I am here because of you,

and as we share this experience with each other

we grow together again in the secret ways

of the universe. You and I, becoming us...

and expanding into the Universe, 

an expression of Love 

within the Cosmic Mind.

For The Rest of Forever

And just like that, I arrived with you,

having grown in you for the time appointed to me,

and when we were driven apart,  I was lost in it,

but I found in me the you I dreamed of and created,

it was in my mind, but I made a picture of happiness,

the kind that doesn't go away, with a love that wasn't conditional,

and I created a place in my head that I felt 

with the emptiness in my soul.

It was with these hands I built a garden of peace and love,

a sanctuary for us, a place to just be and love...

I think of the mystereon that was my conception,

what was it to come here other than to find you?

To be in you and grow next to your heart, 

to hear you speaking, to breathe with you...to know you

so I could find you after the great trauma,

I built a bridge with these hands across the impossible

because I loved you and you loved me and it will always be we;

we are one because I can feel you in my blood, under my skin. 

In you I became a being in this place, you, 

my portal from the Great Love into reality...on some level

I remembered you and longed for you, 

these things now a memory of a time that will no longer be...

the Void now stopped in place,

and again, just like that, I arrive with you 

for the rest of forever.

Missing You

Staring into my mind tonight, 

thoughts swirl around me,

my heartstrings playing a tune 

about how I'm missing you as we're apart...

even though I know we'll be together soon.

My heart is full, but aches today,

separation anxiety playing tricks on me,

like the ghost of a dog you once knew,

bouncing back and forth, running away

with me, sometimes.

It's the natural reaction to the trauma 

we endured I suppose; 

I know I still carry the scars and the

survival methods that kept me alive to find you...

but tonight I'm staring out and my heart shines

with a gentle ache missing you.

 

3 AM

It's 3 AM but you're on my mind,

and I think you should start your week 

with a smile, so here I am in your mind

whispering things like incantations,

strange voodoo, good juju...all the magic

is ours as we think in the same synchronicity.

Sands in the hourglass dripping and shifting

in our favor, the universe conspiring 

to bring us together to correct the grave error,

the Empty Terror...those endless nights ended,

the unconscious Will brought us back together

to restore order in our universes...

that reality would be righted for us and serve

as an example of Grace to others.

Thinking of you, holding you, sitting next to you,

I take none of it for granted now that I have you.

The clock ticking out as the sun starts to rise,

living in the twilight of Dawn,

living in the dawn of Twilight...

it goes around and around

as I hold your hand, 

but you knew this already...

and so we wait until,

and on that day, we will embrace and smile

like you are right now..

 

On My Mind

It's a quiet night, thoughts drift by me like clouds

on the winds, passing by like fancies on a whim...

These thoughts, my private cache, entertaining 

possibilities moving around me, like when I 

will see you again; you're on my mind like always,

but different this time as I'm not so much wondering 

about you, but earnestly missing your company and touch.

The wind moves my hair and I imagine it is your fingers,

as I lay my head in your lap to rest...

you hold me, and I fall asleep in that place of safety

and comfort, dreaming of a peace that covers me.

It's a quiet night, clouds streaming by on the gentle winds,

I would feel your embrace if I were there with you...

Thoughts about love come to me, its depth and position

in the varied faceted realms, my love, your love, our love.

Growing, if that's even possible...surrounding, protecting,

the heartbeats stronger every day.

I miss you, and while absence makes the heart fonder,

I have missed you enough in this lifetime for a lifetime,

I would be with you now until we shift into the other realms

never to just imagine you again, but to have you to hold you,

and be held by you, that mothers' touch which makes 

everything less that is not love...

 

What Can I Say?

How does it feel to no longer be alone?

What can I say to you that you would understand...?

All my life I have been alone, fighting. Searching.

And I found you, my ally, my advocate, my protector...

In you, now, I am completed in ways 

that I did not know I lacked. 

And they are fulfilled in ways

that I did not know I had...

There is now a connectedness to everything,

no longer an alien in a strange land filled with dangers,

now, a person who feels the rest of you a little bit more.

A hope now, certain that things will work out,

because of the magic we found that found us.

I believed through the impossible, even in despair,

not knowing, but holding on to find you,

there is no poetic way to say it, it was what it was.

Bad things, and worse things, danger and solitude.

But not anymore. Now there is a new era, 

a new Dawn for us...for we are put back in order now,

even if we bear a few scars from the journey.

Jacob wrestled the angel and overcame him,

If he could overcome, so could I, and I did...

now the Cosmic Joker says it was just a game,

and we won, took it to the House and prevailed.

So, I laugh off the struggle that was so real 

I cried sometimes, but now my tears are of joy...

how do I convey the feeling of being put back together?

A fresh breath into my lungs, I can exhale...

Puzzle Pieces

We belong together, as in the beginning,

so my quest through the paradox of life,

was like a puzzle of blue, trying frantically

to fit in with the other pieces, but the only 

fit I had was you, so I had to get to you...

and when I did, the light shone through my life

and into my soul, I swallowed the fear

and reached out to see if it was true 

that we only fit together because we are the same,

in a state of gratitude, in awe of the serendipity

which brought me back to you

no longer (a) lone, awkward piece,

but connected, and custom fitted for us,

a picture of joy and happy endings.