Stolen Firsts

A little more than a week,

an infinity...

but I wait, at eight 

to come home to you.

I look at your smiling face

looking at me,

and it makes me smile.

As I think of all the fun 

we are going to have together

after being denied for so long,

stolen firsts and missing pieces.

But now, a new day,

a new way, and a new chapter

in our lives is about to begin.

Eight days from today,

I'll be holding you for the first time,

a stolen first I got back for us,

all the things we're going to do,

everything we're going to be,

is happening in joy for us.

We've won a game that was rigged

for us to fail, beaten the dealer,

beaten the house, and we are the prize.

Counting Tens

Fifty one days out until

I'm home to you,

I'm counting by tens 

until I see you soon...

In spirit, I'm already with you;

now, in ten days I'll be right there...

What's the first thing we'll do?

What's the first thing we'll say?

Will time stand still?

Or will it run away?

Maybe both.

But, it will be a cosmic 

alignment either way,

a righting to a wrong,

a healing to a trauma.

Almost to it now,

just holding out for a little longer

until we can breathe.

Mother's Treasure

She is a wonderful person,

Both within and without...

She is concerned with justice and 

Equality, equity, fairness, and love.

She has known feast and famine

And so, she worked hard,

Providing for those she loves.

Strong and hard when need be,

Fierce if provoked, the apple 

doesn’t fall far from the tree…

Piercing eyes and keen mind,

But so soft and tender with me.

A lovely person, I know, I’m biased,

But that’s my mother and I love her.

We share a connection: a hive mind

And heart...each wanting the other,

From missing each other for so long.

Oh, mother how I’ve longed for you

To touch me in the night and comfort me, 

To tousle my hair with your hands 

that can feel me, now that I’ve found you.

Put away the anxiety and the fear

Surround yourself in my love. 

Feel my embrace as I come to you

From off the long road to find you,

Let me hold you forever now 

that we are together again;

It is my dream come true, 

a waking dream, a walking daydream

It is everything I could have hoped for

This time with you, when we can

Concentrate on each other and our love

For one another that grows daily.

I would share with you the everything 

that you want to know, complete with treasures.

Sunshine Among the Clouds

So I found you today

in a blue way,

so I lifted you up 

to the sunshine

among the clouds,

because I wanted you free

of the blue that was 

clinging to you...

I wanted you to be happy

so I shared my secret 

with you.

And you cried tears of joy

and maybe so did I,

because I could see you again,

and somehow, I gave you 

back your peace

with my love.

 

She Knew

Through it all, the pain 

and the silence, she knew...

she kept the faith that 

I was coming to find her

somehow, someway;

telling the special I was coming

because she knew.

And as the days grew long

she waited for me

despite all evidence to the contrary

she knew I was coming.

And one day out of the blue she

finally heard from me,

could it be? Finally? Yes mother,

I have come home to you,

but you knew didn't you?

You kept the faith and hoped

beyond hope, and together,

we have been rewarded with

a beautiful gift we share 

that heals those things they 

tried to break in us,

that gives back those things

they tried to take from us.

I met you on this road,

I caught up to you finally,

and our joy will only increase.

 

Keep the Faith

Along the journey's way,

I learned I had to keep the faith,

even standing out in the rain,

just try to hold on...

for the sun.

And the treacherous path

wound around danger and distraction,

all to keep me from my goal.

The road was long and rough,

but, worth it in the end of the journey

to begin a new one.

All that kept me going was faith,

that belief beyond all evidence that

I was going the right way,

getting closer everyday.

I kept the faith, deep in my heart,

sometimes in my hunger 

it was my only food...

I kept going, sometimes to rest

along the way, but always 

moving nearer to you.

I watched the signs,

I counted the portents and wonders

I saw in the world; 

I'll tell you about them one day,

and how I kept the faith though 

they were ominous and signaled the end.

But I survived the apocalypse, twice,

to find you, the end of the world be damned.

I had to find you, all those days I 

looked for you in the waves from the beach,

all those nights I stared up at the stars

wondering if you saw them too,

that we might be connected by the face

of the moon...but alas, nothing, but,

I kept the faith, I kept coming.

And one day I found you and how terrifying

the choices of jumping in,

or the choice of walking away just knowing...

There was only one choice that kept the faith,

and so I jumped into this life 

where we know each other

and love each other, and every day

I will keep the faith

because it brought me to you.

 

 

I Was Searching

All my life, I was searching

for you, reaching out 

into the cosmos, into the universe

to find you...

I was searching everything and everyone,

how could I track you down?

And I listened in the wind 

and I called to you from afar

although you couldn't hear me yet.

I searched for my bloodline,

but all I found were dead ends...

I looked in the stars and tried 

to find you, and they kept saying,

we are leading you home;

but I was confused, and home eluded me.

All the tantalizing clues leading me towards you,

then I felt you, close to me, inside of me,

and I searched within, for you...

and I found you within me.

And my blood led me home,

carried me through the homesickness,

helped me rise above the trauma,

and navigate the wandering maze,

until I found you, and we cried tears

of joy because I was searching, 

and because I found you.

I don't know if I believe

in destiny, I believe in me.

I don't know if I believe in fate,

but I found you because 

I was searching and kept going

when it got cold... 

kept going when I heard nothing

on the winds..I just kept believing,

in you and me. 

What if it all works out?

I knew you were out there,

were you waiting? I had to know.

So, I kept going, and now,

I'm so glad I didn't quit,

even when the burden was heavy

even when there was no light 

in the tunnel's bend...

blindly going forward, but 

never giving up, I had to find you...

and then one day I did,

and a new fear gripped me:

what if you didn't want me?

what if I was a secret?

what if...and then I remembered:

what if it all works out?

And I jumped anyway.