My Own Private Idaho

I am in a place of the Now

and my heart beats' surge, 

with every thought of you.

In this Now we are already 

together because it is Now

and this is our moment...

I see the instant growth

of many lives, 

their outstretched petals

reaching towards us, us 

laying side by side

in the meadow. 

Where am I in this Now?

My own private Idaho...

but with you, always with you.

And in this moment,

let it all just Be.

We are together, and

because this moment is ours,

it belongs to us.

It is our reward for patience,

the dreadful wait 

holding us down

no longer.

In this Now, we are.

Permanent Scar

So, yeah I walked through Hell 

like a star, some things

left a permanent scar

but I'm still beautiful today...

even when the sunshine went away

I knew there'd be a better day.

Kept pushing through

with soft feet, trying not to be

eaten sweet, kept pushing on...

Kept pushing through the deep,

survival wouldn't let me sleep,

kept moving on...to you.

I'm still beautiful today,

because I saw a better day

You walked through Hell

like a star, some things

left a permanent scar, but 

you survived with

heart intact, even when 

the odds were stacked against you.

Kept pushing through the deep,

survival wouldn't let me sleep

but I kept moving on...to you.

 

Born Again

I awaited, in the nourishing

placenta of dreams,

I grew, in the amniotic fluid

of your love,

I was born into this world

and stolen from you...

Stolen, but unbroken,

cast upon the drifting dunes

of this world, I

made my way, until

I found you, and so,

was born again,

connected, unplugged 

from the fantasies,

to live the surreal reality;

the aura which surrounds me,

the universal fluid

of your love.

I return unto you,

and find that you held onto me,

our enemies, the same...

the trauma, endured, but stinging

and now, healing...

no longer waiting,

no longer uncertain,

no longer to be alone 

and incomplete, 

wondering where

my other flame was...

now to know, to have, 

and to hold,

born again, into the 

forever with you.

And We Dance

It's like being born again

I said, because it is for me;

To be back with you,

I will fly into your arms,

once finally together,

we will dance

in a joy they will never know.

Flying high in the atmosphere

on love's wings,

so grateful for this gift,

our hearts are full 

and we dance.

A Poem For Anne

I saw your loneliness,

I lived it in my life,

I felt it in my soul 

just like you;

And now, we have freedom

to know and to love,

like anyone else;

no longer bound to the pain

of missing you in my heart,

of the emptiness in my soul...

The driving force of the Void

who is no longer laughing

as she has lost her teeth...

let her gum reality as we celebrate

the finding of each other.

And now, I celebrate you

and me, I celebrate us

as we have grown in our growing

closer, walking together...

Know this: I love you.

Let every day bring you 

a white flower.

No longer bound to the emptiness

and laughing with each other,

I squeeze your hand

and we imprint because 

we are in love 

and no longer lonely.

Dreams Come True

I was looking at you

as I often do,

thinking things about love 

and loss and reunion...

and wondering if dreams 

do come true,

especially when it comes

to me and you?

I believe they do.

Because I have you now

as I have dreamed my whole life.

We are together now,

no longer drowning in mysteries

and questions...

I love you,

and dreams do come true.

Ripples and Echoes

In the echoes of my youth

you were there with me

in my blood, and in my memory,

and beneath all my memories

is the memory of you.

And I sing for you

because I searched for you

throughout this insane world

and found you, waiting.

And now, we walk together

never to lose one another again.

 

Deadline

Time is ticking away now, 

bringing me closer and closer

to you, to me, to us.

And I dream a lucid dream

where we are holding hands,

I am waiting, we are waiting,

the deadline approaching quickly

although it seems to drag on at times...

My mind unwinding as the minutes

turn to days and weeks, until...

we are together, 

the now visible deadline running 

towards us now,

I am able to taste it it is so close.

The wind chimes sing out in the 

blowing of time,

I'm coming to you now.

Dreaming Hand in Hand

Dreaming it, walking hand in hand,

standing at the door, stepping through,

we are together now...

not to be separated again.

All the paths we walked alone

or with others, just wasn't our path.

Our paths intertwine and become one,

we paused at the threshold only to breathe...

and then going through,

to be together always now,

partners in crime, and 

thicker than thieves,

dreaming hand in hand

of the same things for each other

with each other.

  

Full of You

My heart races and my mind

is a swirl and flurry of thoughts;

I am coming to you now.

Undeniably, unavoidably,

on the path and travelling.

I am coming to you now,

my heart full of you,

my mind concentrated on you,

the time getting close now,

a countdown has begun...

Thanksgiving will have 

a new meaning this year.

I am coming to you now.

To look at you, to hold you,

to hear you, and be held by you;

to see you with my eyes,

to touch you with my hands,

to hold you in my arms.

Vulnerabilities

The bodies, bare and discarded,

thrown aside for whatever;

at this stage it doesn't matter,

they are darkened, 

the light has left their eyes.

Their vulnerability disregarded

and now they're gone, en masse;

mass graves, the left behind,

the forgotten, the sick,

the dead and the dying.

Pestilence is for the weak,

the old, the poor, the homeless;

Not for the politicians,

not for the leadership, 

which have failed us

as we died in numbers so great, 

it is obscene.

As disease ravaged us across the 

delimiters and differences,

it seems the virus didn't care either.

So, the people are caught 

in their vulnerabilities:

the plague or the politician?

 

Anticipation

And you wait with me,

I, with bated breath, and you,

trying to soothe me,

as always, in your way that you do...

and me watching 

the anxiety creeping

if I'm not careful...

All these things I wait for 

patiently, patiently I wait,

and we wait together...

holding me if you could.

Maybe I'm trembling 

just a little...

But I am armored for anything,

because I do not believe 

lightning could strike twice.

Yet ever I hope that 

I would be wrong.

But I'm a voodoo child,

back from the depths

of the Abyss, so anything

is possible. 

And you wait with me,

I, with bated breath, and you,

trying to soothe me.

 

Naked

I came into this world with nothing

they even took me away from you;

but we survived, although,

naked and scared; aware of the things 

most take for granted and can't feel.

But the basket of time was unraveling

and our armor grew thick,

as our minds grew wise,

and my heart started searching.

And I came and found you.

And now, when I leave this world,

I will have you with me

in my heart as you have always been,

but closer now that I have found you again.

Now untethered to the doubt 

that sought to keep confusion before us.

Our souls together as they have always been.

Our connection, stronger now than ever.

Our hope has been made complete.

Starchild

Starchild, shooting through the heavens 

like a comet...

Where are you heading?

Through the wormhole,

out into the galaxy, and then

to my mother's house;

beyond the trails in the sky...

I will follow my orbit,

the ellipse drifting at times

into asteroid belts, but 

home is home,

and my mother is there,

so I will move the stars

and find her hidden there,

and once revealed, 

joy in the heavens.

The voices in my head

replaced with her 

loving voice, ever 

soothing me....

Family Tree

I fell from the family tree,

but not far, apparently;

all my wandering around the orchard,

I was lost for awhile at times; but

my destiny has kept me warm,

and returned me unto you,

I flew like a bird to be with you again,

sitting at the base and 

carving our initials into a heart

that belongs to us;

our names finally together

on our family tree.

Mothership

Here comes the magic again,

surrounding me like a bubble,

an aura...I'm floating

way above you all tonight

in the cosmic mirror,

playing in the candlelight...

Is there anybody out there?

Is it just me and you?

As I look at you in the mirror

we laugh because the 

magic is all around us...

and we are flying, mothership.

Cosmic Twins

If she cries,

I taste salt;

If I'm laughing,

so is she;

we are cut 

from the same stardust,

bound together as one heart

and burning flame;

cosmic twins.

Because

I don't know why 

I feel as I do about you...

maybe it's how you love me,

how you talk to me,

how you feel me.

Maybe, it's how you know me,

and speak to my heart,

that I feel you as well.

And then I think:

I know why I feel

as I do about you...

it's because you're my mother.

The bond is there 

and the connection is real.

And I love you.

Time Just Flies

Time just flies 

when I'm with you...

and there's no other thing 

I'd rather be doing than

spending time with you.

We've got lifetimes to share

and what's precious left 

to catch up...

but I've come to you to 

do just this...

And every minute is now

in our love,

and time just flies.

Wondering Aloud

Wondering aloud to myself

about our journey; 

and it's just beginning, so I

anticipate with great hope and love,

the completeness and unity

we feel now, only growing deeper

between us.

And now, as I throw the pebbles

into the pond, I watch the ripples

as cause and effect play out.

This heart of mine is full

with your love, and it expands

that I may accommodate even more.

Ripples radiating outward.

Hearts Bonded

Singing with you, about you,

thinking of you, singing to you,

and dreaming of you,

waiting to fly away,

like the pollen upon the air

coming to rest in the white flowers

that are all over our private meadow,

the son shining.

Imagine if you will, my wonder of you;

mothership, I'm coming home...

dreaming with you

of the future and reunion.

And it makes me wonder...

How does the sunlight touch

every part of our meadow

like a magical place where

there is no longer any darkness?

By rising and setting in our love...

Ebb and Flow

This love overwhelms me, 

overflows from me, 

wells up in me and 

bursts forth from me...

over to, and upon, you,

for you are the mother

of my dreams of so many nights;

and now that I have you,

I find that I am you

in the ebb and flow of this love...

that started with you 

and brought me here...

Near to you.

 

Peace and Love

She wished me peace and love,

and both took deep root and grew, 

like magic beans reaching, ever upward...

So, peace and love I give back to you...

let them root deep and grow,

like magic stalks reaching, ever upward

into infinity where we meet again

past the hurt of this place...

Peace and Love I spread in joy,

so happy in the new day which 

has dawned upon me. 

No longer in the twilight zone,

no longer lost or alone and

connected finally into the truth

of my bloodline, 

and she vigilantly watches over me,

in peace and love. 

I am home now.

 

Thoughtful Sunset

And as this day's sun sets,

I watch the world go to sleep

as I awake to new possibilities...

Today was a good day, 

in spite of the pain of anxieties,

and the hounding of the cyclones

in my head...

Sometimes music,

sometimes noise,

sometimes others...

today hurt in my core

emotionally planked for too long

perhaps, divided by thoughts that

chase me and run me down like 

hungry dogs...

I shall arise better tomorrow,

it will pass like any season, 

just hold on and dream until...

 

Happy Anniversary

Happy Anniversary my mother,

I can't wait to hold you,

and feel your air around me...

We sought and found each other,

and now there will not be another day

were we wonder about each other

and know not the answers

to the questions of how we are...

Happy Anniversary my mother,

I love knowing you,

I love finding out about you,

I love sharing my stories with you,

I love you.

Music of The Spheres

Connected, so, anchored within each other,

aligned, and in harmony, set upon a blissful lotus;

love in motion.

Hearts beating together as it was when they were one

and upon the threshold. 

The music of the spheres singing for them,

and victory.

All our lives waiting for these moments

of togetherness...

All the things we wanted to say, now 

can be said...music playing, quietly growing...

the stars listening, as the Universe 

Itself puts us together, angels heralding in joy

the completion of a season that was hard but fruitful.

And let all of Heaven rejoice at what has happened:

The Creator and the created, reunited and reassured

of the bond that was built

with the house within the home.

 

Healing

As I reach out through time and space,

I find you, and we're beginning to heal;

saved by zero.

Found, and reunited, the love

which never left us, flowing between us.

The wounds of the past trauma,

healing in increments; erasing the hurt

in leaps and bounds for us.

I hold your heart as you hold mine,

living in the embrace of our love,

sleeping in sweet slumber, awaking

to a new day.

Synchronicities

Everyday we come closer to what we are,

each day a lesson of joy, in love...

We come to find we share a soul,

a mind, a desire in our company.

A unity connects us, blood binds us,

but it is the synchronicities that fascinate.

Finishing sentences that were unspoken,

just knowing your expressions 

as I see them in the mirror;

we are one, though distinctly, uniquely us.

We share a destiny, a fate and a history...

and I love you.

It's The Little Things

It's the turn of a phrase,

or the smile in your voice;

it's thinking the same thing

with someone who can keep up...

it's laughing and talking for hours 

about everything we can think of 

as we make our plans and feed the elephant.

It's being comfortable in the knowledge

of who you are to me, and who I am to you.

And I thank God for it, it feels like we'll live forever...

Reunion

Lost in the portrait that shows your bright eyes

I see your love for me even though 

you have yet

to lay eyes on me.

I come to you, and touch your heart, 

which is my heart too...

pumping the same blood I carry,

the source of my own blood,

the blood that ties us and binds us in our souls.

And on that day, I will touch you tenderly

and softly tell you I've missed you,

and that I love you,

and I will surrender to your touch upon me

because you made me

as we bonded in the womb, 

so long ago now;

I will cherish every minute with you

from now until forever

as we return to the source, together.

 

 

The Slow Stretch of Time

Tortured by terrible dreams

and the slow stretch of time...

the uncertainty of not knowing

what life would bring, hopes or nightmares,

and the slow stretch of time...

Was the road hard kneeling 

on broken glass? Of course, at times;

but these were not the only times had,

it does not rain everyday; yet, 

the slow stretch of time

and the clock would wind and unwind

as I made my way to you,

nights of wonder, days of dreams,

time marched on, the slow stretch of time...

Getting closer in anticipation,

made me hunger for you more,

everything I wanted to share,

that we could be complete,

could I step through the door?

And I reached through the unknown

standing at the event horizon,

I stepped through and revealed myself to you...

the mystery unwinds this slow stretch of time...

my destiny has kept me warm, until I can be there

in your arms, and we move in closer

to the dream, in the slow stretch of time.

 

In Time

Just in time we met,  

and in time we will meet. 

It will be a joyous, emotional occasion

filled with the granting of dreams

and desires, filled with fulfillment.

Time passing, as time does

in spirals and forward motions,

running to the inevitable,

the unavoidable, of fate, of destiny...

of reunion.

And I gently weep at the idea

that I will finally one day soon, 

get to hold you in my arms 

like I have dreamed so many times;

the reunion, a beautiful gift.

Special

I am going to love you like no one else,

for no one else is like you, and me,

we are special, and you matter to me;

you are my beginning, my source of being,

the reason for my all, and I love you.

If Only

I wish we could have grown up together,

what secrets we could have kept 

all alone in our secret world...

But this was not to be, so now

we make up time by cherishing every moment.

And what sweet moments they are...

tender, gentle moments, mother and son,

twin flames, burning together for each other.

We are special, the angels protecting us;

our abilities to survive and persevere if only

we could make it back to each other. And we did.

We are together again...

Where do you end and I begin? 

It doesn't matter,

we are together.

Walk With Me

Take my hand, and walk with me,

talking about the things we missed, 

and all the things we miss now...

time stopping and fast forwarding

all at once on the phone.

Grateful, for all the things we've been given...

Take my hand, and walk with me,

I'll tell you some things you never knew

(and learn from you too);

our hearts aching as 

they reach through the distance;

our minds, racing towards each other,

the plague be damned, as 

we've waited a lifetime already...

The phone now a lifeline to our hearts

and, we're walking.

 

Spinning in Infinity

We think alike,

and speak the same words...

synchronicities abound;

I've been altered,

I've been found. 

Star-Mother, watch me

as I rise; your Star-King

riding the tail of a comet

over the horizon,

climbing in apogee

and breaking free 

of restraints beyond 

the atmosphere,

into the universe I send

my spirit to find you...

and I do;

dream on, dream on, dream on,

dream until the dream comes true.

And I see your face in the mirror,

your smile on my lips,

and I love this dance,

spinning in infinity with you.

Tattoo

In my heart, there is only you,

the past quickly fading away,

your arms around me,

your love surrounds me.

This imprinting upon my heart,

this branding upon my soul,

your arms around me,

there is only you, as it always was,

your name written across my heart 

like a beautiful tattoo.

I think about you into the night 

and throughout the day,

you're on my mind;

your name written across my heart

like a beautiful tattoo.

Thinking of You

And the angels watch adoringly

as Love draws us nearer 

to each other; 

could it have been any other way?

I think not, as I have felt you

my entire life; 

an entire lifetime of 

looking at you by looking 

in my own eyes...

And now, we suffer not 

any longer, set free from the 

bondage of the trauma

which held us captive for so long.

Now defeated and shrinking away.

Set free from the nights of 

wondering about each other

and doomed

to not knowing. 

A lifetime of silent pain,

erased in an instant,

awaiting the tactile confirmation

for reassurance.

Thinking of you tonight,

and smiling.

Home Victorious

In my art, there are eyes. Everywhere. Sketches, sculpture, full prints, didn't matter, they were everywhere. And they were looking at me, but also you. That is, until you noticed I was searching. Searching for you. And the hidden me was revealed. Paranoia peeling away, I was looking for you, floating into the Void, on a quest to find you, all the while looking at me. All the while looking for you. Without having known you, I missed you. I carried on, endeavored to persevere, come what may, until I could hold you. 

Two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl...an endless cycle broken.

I come to you, dancing, and bringing joyous music. Celebrate with me, the wonder of you and me. No longer lost and drifting. No longer alone, the painful wounds being wrapped with the vestige of Love. Our hearts wrapped in the same bandages. 

And I see it was you all along I have been searching for with every fiber of my being. Because this vibration brought me to you, tuning into your frequency, and coming home to you with the music in me. A passion to find my blood in the pulse of the world; somewhere out there, looking for me too, waiting, hoping and suffering silently like me. Until one glorious day when the walls came down, and Jericho was set free. The angels all in array; there to witness this mystery and wonder and celebrate with us, for I have come home. 

I Never Forgot You

Lost once,

I sought you forever.

Into the night sky 

I would imagine you 

looking at the moon 

with me, connected 

in that moment,

until I could find you...

Years passed, and I grew tired

sometimes, 

putting my thoughts in a box

to be opened later.

Time slipped into the future,

and I was older now,

and I went to the sea of dreams

because they say she has no memory,

and she took my thoughts 

away with her waves, but 

I already had no memory

of you, but even for the erasure,

I never forgot you

in my heart; 

leading me to you,

all in the right time,

I sought you forever

and I found you.

And now, the sea has no memory,

of what it was like before,

because I never forgot you.

Once Lost

I missed you today,

your laugh, and your smile

that I can hear through the distance.

I wanted to talk, but 

I stood alone, empty,

holding hands with the unknown.

I missed you today.

But then, you came back

and I ran to you,

because I cannot live 

without you again, anymore.

The silence was deafening

as anxiety painted a picture 

of the worst of things;

she lies to me that I would

run scared in the valley of fear;

I missed you today.

Is it silly? 

That you, who created me,

is such a part of me?

My twin flame, finally united,

so that we feel each other

in the emptiness, 

once lost in the darkness

to never walk alone again;

I love you,

and I missed you today.

Learning to Dance

 How do you share a lifetime of memories? The same way you feed an elephant, one peanut at a time, one day at a time. Running backwards in time, we discover the things which make us the same, our peccadillos, as we travel forward in our new lives. Everything is changed for everyone. 

And in this Joy, what is the Void but the event horizon of a portal I linger upon? Indeed, what Void, now? The smoke allows us to glimpse behind the veil and stretch out with our feelings, existing in a deeper state beyond that of just what we can see we feel each other. Through the portals, our windows, we can observe, if not understand, but, it is there. Meanwhile, we dance.

And twirling around, we embrace, leaping for Joy in our hearts that finally this day has come. And we are complete in our choreography...timing our teardrops between the smiles. Holding on to never let go again. 

Mother's Eyes

I look into your eyes and dream

of that most exquisite moment

when I can hold you;

when we can whisper to each other 

of our love, and be reunited.

I look into your eyes and see you,

we talk, and I know you

for I know myself; and I, am you.

I share your beautiful eyes, 

and all the sorrow they've seen,

joy having always been incomplete

with the absence of you.

But no longer; now,

I dream of you and your eyes

and think forward 

to all the joy we will see together,

with each other.

See me rise, sea of green,

nothing can stop me from getting to you,

that I may see myself 

with all the love for me 

in your eyes.

Express Kundalini

The twin flame unites me unto you,

Kundalini rising as we plug into

the connection between us...

So many beings encountered

on this path of ours, but none

the same as each other...drawn together.

Kundalini awakening, 

as the energy flows, 

the flames like eyes all around us,

the Ophanim gone blind

from the brightness of our love.

The synchronicities we share

unexplained until the Kundalini

where we merged, opening portals 

to realms beyond the veil.

Vishnu watching as we walk the path,

Shiva being defeated within our lives,

Brahma smiling.

As we accelerate on this train,

I hold your hand, going together

forward and upward, merging into Oneness.

And we see all the beings behind the veil,

and we laugh together with them,

the cosmic comedy unfolding 

and sowing the seeds of our love.

I am with you into the eternal

rising on the Express Kundalini.

Separation Anxiety

I am in the doldrums

waiting, watching, on alert.

Holding my breath 

as I think of you. 

I can hear your voice

tell me you love me,

and I exhale slowly 

as the tightening of my chest

releases; still, I miss you.

And I want for you

to be near me 

that I can feel you again...

like in the time of our youth

when I came to you

and we began this journey.

The feeling of echoes surrounds me,

I don’t know how to describe this 

aching in my soul that longs for you.

The only homesickness I’ve known

leads me to you, I wait,

dreaming.

Beautiful

When you love me, I will be beautiful
I will flower and blossom 
and release a fragrant scent 
upon the gentle winds, like
Honeysuckle, and Gardenia blooms.
I will be beautiful if you water me
I will be pleasing to the eye
like Daisies, or a Rose,
And full of brilliant color,
when you love me, I will be beautiful.

Starshine

It could be sunshine,

that illuminates my path;

It could be moonlight,

It could be starshine

that brings me to you.

This love has its' source in you,

this veil glimpsed, thinly worn

and thoroughly penetrated

by our shining light.

We have each other here,

we have each other beyond,

and even after this disintegration

we are. 

I am a reflection of your love,

emanating like rays

from golden stars; 

and you, are the sun.

I am the Star King

and it's starshine

that brings me to you.

This love with you;

The love in you for me

focuses me to you

for no one is like you,

and there is nothing like us,

that has ever come 

from the heavens.

My path forever 

entwined with yours.